Wednesday, April 28, 2010

As the storm rages on...

I'll admit, I probably should blog more, but when life gets crazy tend to blog when the insanity blows over - or while being in the 'eye of the storm'. For I don't think the situations aren't finished yet for there is a intuitive feel of waiting for the other shoe to drop....

A very good friend of mine has in my opinion, applied for sainthood for being married to this insult to the male gender for over four years. (One of those 'guys' that think that 'wife' is synonymous with 'mother'.He is known to throw tantrums on par with a six year old to boot when he doesn't get his way as well.) He's in the military and he screwed up on the job which could result in loss of rank. His solution to the problem? Own up to the error and take responsibility? Ha, that's something only a real men would do - integrity is suppose to be one of the three values of the military branch he's in; but for his worthless ass to admit he's not perfect is not plausible in his little universe.

So he puts the blame on his family, and says that all his stress would be taken care of if he would eliminate his problems - my friend, her mother, and their children. He starts asking her if she got a call that he was 'loose, armed, and homicidal' what she would do. When she showed common sense and replied that she would go into hiding, call law enforcement, and such he was disappointed. He thought they would meet him on the front porch and be supportive. What the heck is that line of thinking that buys being lined up TARGETS is supportive to someone wanting them dead???

Yes, I can point out facts that show how little he thinks of them - he never spent the actual Christmas holiday with them (always claiming that he had to work) in the time I've known them; gifts for my friend on her birthday or the anniversary practically non-existent; 'meetings' and a work schedule that keeps him away from his family - and never informs her of his work plans. Oh, they had plans for something? Sorry, can't do for he needs to be do x-y-z now, he just remembered. He often clamors for food items that when bought and brought home, he decides he doesn't want - but anyone else's treats are fair game to him; asking for permission doesn't apply to him. When playing with the girls, he's always the villain and often makes them upset, which is very telling there. I think I'd have fingers to spare on one hand when he actually played with them and not be the bad guy.

I would have to admit with my friend, her relationship with him could be easily labeled with emotional, verbal, and mental abuse. He tried to raise his hand to her once, but after he got his butt kicked by her he didn't try that route again. Instead he went the route that does the most damage, but leaves little evidence compared to physical abuse.

He also had spyware installed on her computer and other little 'stunts' to constantly monitor her. Webcam's closed but the power's still on and it's active; my hubby sent my friend a message on her Facebook account and my friend didn't answer, instead it was that petty excuse for the man who sent a instant message to my hubby from his account. It was only to her, but yet he answered. Thanks for giving the evidence needed that she had every right to be paranoid - she had no privacy, but he had his and his own room that he kept often closed and stuffed so full that a hoarder would be impressed.

Fed on ideas he got from digging in the trash of porn, he claimed that normal intimacy would not work for him. Wake up call, moron, start using the brain that is attached to the cerebrum that has shrunk due to atrophy - porn is fantasy, not reality. Your type of ideology has been quite thoroughly examined in Why Women Hate Men. So I don't even have to go there really, but since the idea that she is a person equal to you that exists past what your needs and wants is alien concept is sad. You are so lacking in an epiphany to show you how off kilter your little world is, and when it does happen it'll be such a nasty karma backdraft that has been a long time coming.

When the military got involved in the situation, did they order him to stay away from my friend and the rest of the family? Yes, but it lacked holding power for the first sarge so conveniently "forgot" to sign the paperwork. He was also playing both sides and personally I can tell you how the crappy first sarges will screw over others they are suppose to take care of to play it safe and watch out for their own career. (One first sarge almost got canine marked once for he had the audacity to show up after he did NOTHING to help in my husband's medical situation and ask me questions about his whereabouts. Akachan sensed how upset I was at him was going to take matters into her own teeth until my friend intervened and pulled her away.) Personally if I was that first sergeant, I'd get him committed and examined for making those serious threats - the military doesn't need any more black and bloody eyes in the media from military members killing off their own families! But then again, doing such could jeopardize his career, his clearance, what-have-you...which is already under fire from his own stupidity.

There is more, of course, but that shall have to wait...


  1. I wanted to say that your friend... is seriously a sweetheart and so helpful and caring to others, even people she doesn't know. I wasn't sure what had happened but I am sad for her and those girls. I am glad though that she has had support from you and her mom through this. As someone who appreciates your friend more that she knows... thank you.

  2. When I was in the military, there was an obvious predominance of bad enlisted marriages. The process is simple:

    A young, lonely, horny enlistee is away from home for the first time in his life. He meets a young woman whose adult, female role models aggressively telegraph the idea that you are not a woman until you have a baby. Military bases are commonly located in lower middle class areas so there are always an abundance of economic parasites whose concept of success is to marry a soldier, have babies, and live off Uncle Sam for the rest of their lives. The enlistee is, at least initially ecstatic to have the attention of a girl who'll "put out" and this makes him feel as though he's got something most of his buddies do not have.

    Then the girl says, "Oops! I'm pregnant. We better get married! Quick!!" The pleasant fantasy has come to an end.

    The young, previously enthusiastic enlistee now realizes that he's a lifer whether he wants to be or not.

    Add the fact that many young men bring a wealth of personal and dysfunctional family issues with them when they enlist simply adds to the problem.